I thought this week would probably be a breeze. I've been out and about in the world for 5 months now, I have a little piece of paper that says I have a Bachelor's degree, I have a job, heck, I'm even starting grad school on Monday. This week was supposed to be a vacation, a time to reconnect with some friends, maybe lay on the beach, eat everything that I love and can only get on the North Shore...
But here I sit (at Starbucks, again.) and as I'm reflecting on the conversations I've had this week, I'm flooded with a mix of emotions. Really, its not fair. I already did 10 separate blog posts about this place back in December. I already went through the month or two (or five) of feeling brokenhearted and hopeful, lost and at home. I already navigated the waters of learning to identify myself as something other than student. This was just supposed to be the celebratory part!
But now, I'm watching dear friends get ready to make the transition into the "real world" and its just fully beginning to hit: its over. This season of life where I've changed and grown and learned and loved and cried. This chapter is ending. I know I said in my last post that I'm ready to start the next one. I stand by that...I'm ready to move forward and see what's on the next page. But I can't lie, I really wish the same characters could be in the next chapter. I think somewhere in the back of my mind and the depths of my heart, I've always just thought I'd come back to Gordon and life would go on the way it has for the past four years. (I know, I know, how dense am I? The reality should have been pretty obvious)
And here's where this post gets to be like a Shakespearean sonnet, with a twist at the end: I'm so excited that life isn't continuing on as it has, because I can't wait to watch these friends get out there and do something with what they've learned. I can't wait for us to watch each other change the world and be able to say, "hey! i know them!"
So, thank you, Jesus, for blessing me with the opportunity to spend a season of my life in this place. I couldn't have asked for or imagined a better place to spend the last four years.
And finally, world, life, and adulthood: bring it on.
(And just another shout-out to Jesus...thanks for putting people in my life that remind my that I'm only 21 and I have a lifetime ahead of me. Thanks for the friends that help me keep things in perspective, not take myself too seriously, and remind me to just have fun. They are medicine for my heart.)
Here's a few of the photos I took at senior formal in Boston on Saturday night. It was an interesting evening...I enjoyed getting dressed up, going to Boston, and spending time with friends, but there was also a feeling of disconnectedness looming in the air. Its strange to have not been a part of this community for the past 5 months. For the rest of my class, Saturday night was an opportunity to blow off steam before heading into a hectic finals week. For me, this whole week just seems surreal. Even now, I'm sitting in Starbucks, the place where I spent every Sunday night last fall doing homework, and I'm surrounded by familiar faces who have congregated here to frantically finish papers and cram for their next exam, and I just feel out of place in some ways. This area will always be a second home, but I also realize now that this chapter of my life is really closing.
And I can honestly say that I'm ready to start the next one.
I really enjoy nail polish. For a long time, the only thing I wore on my nails was a French manicure or just a clear coat. But about a year ago, I bought this little beauty in a bottle, and ever since, its been color,color,color! I journeyed over to Ulta on my lunch break today, and I emerged, victorious, with these: (they're buy 2 get to free right now!)
now I just have to decide which one to wear first!
That, my friends, is what cupcakes should be called.
But I guess "cupcake" is a lot easier to say.
Can you imagine walking into a bakery and saying "I'll take a decaf soy latte. Oh, and one of those little cakes of joy. Thanks."
I like it.
Anyway, I baked some milk chocolate cupcakes with strawberry frosting on Sunday. They aren't the prettiest things I've ever made. (To my chagrin, I still don't own a piping bag) But man, they were tasty!