i didn't realize the insecurity that that hurt buried in me until years later, when i spent a summer investing in what i imagined would someday be a real relationship with someone i could potentially see a future with. our would-be relationship crumbled under miscommunication and mixed feelings about where we were headed and i sank into a season of hurt, anger, and confusion about how a god who assured me to wait and hold out for "his best" could let me go through this.
can i let you in on a little secret? insecurity reared it's ugly head and the enemy whispered his lies, and over time, i started to believe them.
lies that god didn't actually have a plan.
lies that he didn't really want to fulfill the desires of my heart.
lies that i didn't really deserve to be loved in the way that i wanted.
it took a while until i stopped listening to those lies. even after i was in a relationship with a guy who is better to me than i could have ever imagined, i still questioned whether i deserved it. i can't even tell you what i did to block them out. i guess it was just a conscious effort to believe in the promises that god has made…and his plans to give me hope and a future, just like it says in Jeremiah.
those lies still creep in once in a while, and it's not always easy to push them away. sometimes, it's a daily, intentional task to remember that i am loved, and i do deserve it, and god does want what's best for me. love can be tough…no matter where you're at. it's tough if you're going through a breakup, it's tough if you're single, it can be tough if you're in a relationship.
friday is valentine's day, and while it's fun to watch romantic movies and eat those little candy hearts and maybe even hand out valentines, i know there are girls out there who are feeling lonely rather than loved this week. maybe that's you. maybe you're succumbing to the lie that you don't deserve love.
but guess what, friend? you're already loved. you're loved by a savior who gave his life for you. in the most intense and unimaginable way. and he continues to love you day in and day out, a love so sustaining and fulfilling that a deeper one has never existed. so take heart, and bury yourself every day in the arms of a heavenly father who loves you so much that he overcame the grave for you.
this post was written in partnership with overcome the lie. overcome the lie is a social media movement that exists to empower a generation of women to overcome the lie because jesus overcame the grave. they encourage women and give them the resources and opportunity to walk free from the lies, using the authority that jesus hands them.