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Jul 28, 2020

Girl Talk // The Dreams You Don't Talk About

If you've ever had a dream in your life, you know...dreaming can be a scary thing.

Dreams give you a glimpse of what your life could be and ask you to follow them without more than a bold hope and the promise of what could be.

One of the dreams I've had all my life has been to have a marriage like my parents' (they've been married almost 28 years and are the best of friends) and to be able to parent children who grow up knowing that they're loved not only by their family, but even more so by Christ.

But it wasn't until I was in college, and about halfway through, that I felt comfortable talking about that dream with others.

You see, there's a vulnerability to realizing our dreams aloud.  For me, it was the worry of what others might think, that by wanting first and foremost to be a wife and mother, would mean relinquishing my intellect and potential to have a promising career in whatever field I chose.  That I was somehow shedding what so many women have fought so long and hard for in exchange for an apron and minivan.

It's that vulnerability that causes us to hole up our dreams, keeping them hidden for fear of what others might think or say.  No one wants their dreams crushed into a million tiny pieces, and so it's so much easier to hide them away than to risk the voices of insecurity and reality stomp all over them.

AJ and I do a lot of talking about our future.  If I'm being completely transparent with you, I don't know what my dreams are right now.  Sure, that dream for a family is still very present, but beyond that?  I don't know.  I have a degree in education, and I'd love to teach in an elementary classroom.  But I also have a passion for global nonprofit work, a creative energy for photography and design, a love of interior decorating, and a penchant for hosting and planning events.

So if you figure out how to wrap all of that up into one career, let me know.

AJ, on the other hand, has a very specific dream.  He wants to one day work in a studio as a producer or recording engineer.  And in about a month, he's heading to Boston to continue his education at Berklee College of Music as a step toward achieving that dream.

Both of those situations are scary.  Mine, because I just don't know what the next step is.  His, because it requires risk and that bold hope.

At the bottom of it all, though, God desires the best for us.  He gives us dreams and puts people in our path who can encourage us and help us achieve them.  And if you're seeking Jesus in everything you do, then the dreams that are of Him will align with His plan for your life.

No matter how scary your dream is, I guess the question you have to ask yourself is this:  is it worth the risk?  Because there's risk in every part of dreaming: from the time that you realize that you even have a dream to the day that you tell others about it to the moment you begin to work toward making it happen.

If the answer to that question is "yes", then start.  Start talking to others (because there's accountability in that!), start figuring out what you need to do to make it happen, start praying hard.

Too often we rob ourselves of the joy of dreaming because of the fear of failure and judgment.  Don't you think it's time to start chasing your dreams?


  1. Amen to that! You are exactly right--we fear our own dreams because we do not want to look like a failure if they do not come true. But what a waste of a dream if we don't ever try! Love this blog!


    1. It's so so true! And not trying is such a waste of a dream!

  2. I can really relate to this post with where I am in life right now. I feel that because I'm 20, in college, and have potential everyone makes a list of expectations for me regardless of things I expect and want for myself. It's hard for me to be vulnerable, to share things that are truly the deepest desires of my heart. I have such a strong support system that fear of disappointing my loved ones is a big thing for me. I'm learning that they will support me in all things that I chose and that they want the best for me, but having the courage to open up is still a struggle.

    Thanks for this post :)

    1. Yes! I know the feeling, Amber. It's so hard to feel the pressure of others' expectations, and unfortunately, I don't think that ever really goes away. But I've also found that so much of what we think others expect of us is really just our perceptions and not necessarily reality. If people love you, they'll support you no matter what you do with your life! Thanks for your honesty!

  3. Love it :) I'm glad you can share your dreams!

  4. Thanks so much for this post, I really connected with it. I, too, am not sure exactly what my "big dreams" in life are. I'm not one to be too focused on my future, career wise (currently studying elementary education). I think there are a lot bigger and more important dreams than jobs. After reading this, I feel inspired to make a list of dreams that have been floating around in my head that I have never really put into words.
    I'm a new blogger and would so appreciate it if you could find time to check out my site! http://ashcatz.blogspot.com
    Thanks so much Betsy and hope you have a great weekend.


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